lost my friend

13. December 2015

sadness in heart

Now it´s one week ago since I lost my friend! Since I lost my soulmate! And while I´m sitting here trying to bear down my pain many people say:” You have to move on. You´ll find another friend!” I hear their words but it don´t touchs me, cause I know  something about them. They all don´t understand what true friendship means.

Now I will tell you something about my best friend called Chips…

The first time we met us in Caracssonne (France). We felt a connection between us immediatly. His eyes told me the story of his pity little past. It wasn´t needful to use words. I´ve read Chips book with my eyes and he catched my heart.

We walked together since that day and we became wordless special friends. We were running over fields…we´ve visit all woods to find some peace…we´ve climbed pelion in greece…we´ve relaxed on many beaches.  It was an an amazing time!

Sometimes when I felt sad he frown and laid his head in my lap and if I cried he kissed my tears away.

But one week ago our story ends. Last Sunday we went for a walk and everything was alright. My friend jumped around like a bouncing ball and we had a lot of fun. But In the evening when we arrived back home he suddenly broke down at a moment´s notice. I hold him in my arms and he lifted his head to look me in the eyes. I understand! His eyes said I love you goodbye! He tasted my bitter tears and I couldn´t realize. We drove to the hospital to check what´s going wrong. I couldn´t stop to cry cause I´ve known what the doctor will tell me. I had this misgiven and I was proved correct! The doctor wagged one´s head and said that they couldn´t do anything.

I shouted they have to help my friend and then Chips lifted his head the very last time! I looked him in the eyes, while I tender stroked over his head. His eyes said: “I have to go now! Our time was amazing but I can not fight any longer!

I gave him the last kiss and laid my head on his chest, while he close his eyes and passed away. In this moment cold sweat was dripping down my body and a piece of my heart had followed him! I´ve took his body back home and build  a grave in the garden.

I´m sitting here drown in my sadness and I´m still feeling him by my side. People can say I´m insane . That´s ok! Perhaps they don´t understand me cause they never have the chance to learn that:

1.”No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. “

2. “A Dog Is The Only Thing On Earth That Loves You More Than You Love Yourself.” 

3. I went out to rescue a dog that day
To give him a really good life
To take him away from the life that he led
And free him from trouble and strife

I thought I would do him a favour
And be a good person to him
And go do my bit for the country
I didn’t go out on a whim

But what do you think really did happen?
The day that I did my good deed,
I discovered a love that I’d dreamed of
And fulfilled in myself a strong need.

I now have a dog that I care for,
I see things that I needed to see.

That lovely dog that I rescued
Really ended up rescuing me.

4. There is no psychatrist in the world like a dog

licking your face.

5. Dogs are not our lives, but they make our lives whole.#

my best friend was a dog


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  • Reply Filiz 11. July 2016 at 12:13

    Oh Mist! Das tut mir wirklich leid! Ich weiß, wie das ist, und dass es mit einem “Einfach weiter machen” nicht getan ist.
    Ich wünsche dir viel Kraft, deinen Verlust zu verarbeiten <3


  • Reply beccs@ruhrstyle 18. December 2015 at 14:25

    Thank you! It´s really hard to realize.

  • Reply Naelle - Once in Paris 16. December 2015 at 22:12

    oh no, I cant even imagine how i’d feel if my cat died…i am sorry 🙁

    xxx from Paris!

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